I started out yesterday like most people did, a fresh start with new motivation and new goals to work on in the coming months.
I ended yesterday with the very sobering realization that I am not promised one of those future days fulfilling any of those goals. All that I have is right now, in this exact moment. And I may have many of those exact moments in my future. Or I may not. I ended yesterday holding tightly onto Cowman and the ranch kids trying not to smother them while at the same time, trying to absorb everything about them into myself.
I woke this morning with that same feeling, however several more have been added into the mix to make me quite a wreck at the moment. A very resolved wreck though. Here are just a few of the most important thoughts running through my mind and piercing my heart this morning.
– As I already said, we are not promised tomorrow but I think that while we know this, we never truly think it will happen to us. In this case, it didn’t happen to us, but it did happen to someone whom I love. Someone who is younger than me. And that fact alone shocked me into consciousness.
– We need to let this knowledge change how we approach each day. We need to live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is because such moments are fleeting. I’m not just talking about those lovely moments that take our breath away either. I’m talking about the muddy footprints on the floor, socks shoved into the couch cushions moments as well. Those are the moments that yes, may drive us batty, but that if we didn’t have them, our life would be emptier.
– This knowledge needs to change us, but not frighten us. This is the hard one that I will have to remind myself of a lot. A LOT. If being aware means you live in constant fear, you will never be able to truly enjoy each precious moment. You will instead be living in the uncertain future instead of in the now that you are certain of. Enjoy this moment and let the future ones work themselves out when it is their time.
– Choose what is important, and let go of the rest. De-clutter your life and only leave the things that bring you joy, that make you grow, that have the ability to make you smile and laugh, and that leave your heart overflowing. That which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. These are the things you pursue. These are the things you surround yourself with. These are the things that give your precious life meaning. Let go of the drama and move on!
– Attitude. Do those crayon marks on the wall really mark the end of my sanity, or can I dig a little deeper and find a little bit more patience? Clothes on the floor again, should I lose my temper and yell, or help once more? Selective hearing ears turned on at bedtime, get frustrated or find a better way? I know that these changes can’t all happen at once, but I know now, that if I were left alone looking back at those moments, that I would see how really insignificant in the great scheme of things they were. That one more cuddle, one more story, one more “I love you”, one more snuggle on the couch after the kids are in bed, those are the moments that would stand out as being important. Those are the moments that I am going to fill my right-now’s with.
That darn house may not ever be magazine worthy clean, and that to-do list will never all be marked as done, but I am going to fill right now, and any future right-now’s that I am given, with the moments that matter. The moments that make memories, happy homes, and strong families. I’m taking this second in time to live, and live well.
Love from here,