Creating our new “normal”

Liberty

Our little Liberty arrived the day after Mothers Day. I couldn’t have asked for a better gift than to have our fifth and final child finally join us! The oldest three adore her and want to constantly hold or touch or look at her. Gabe is heard quite frequently asking if he can “please see her beautiful face!” Beau isn’t sure yet what he thinks, but he has been the spoiled baby for the last two years so we knew it would take him longer to come around, but I am confident that he will eventually! With the joy and love that she has already added to our home after only a week, I know that our family’s future is going to be full of so many wonderful things!

My five Gifts

I am a believer of the thought that after three kids your home is already so full of noise and craziness that adding another child ( or two) really doesn’t make much of a difference. It takes a little bit of adjusting in the beginning but eventually you fall into a routine that becomes normal for you and you learn to roll with it all. I’m going to stick with this thought, except I have made one very important decision that I am going to change now that we are once again looking for our new “normal”. I refuse to just “fall” into a new routine and hope for the best. This time around we are going to create our new normal, very purposefully, very carefully, with much thought and prayer going into what we want it to look like.

What are our true priorities? What do we want our kids to remember when they look back at their childhood? What do we want to remember when we look back at their childhood? How good of a relationship do we want to have with each other while the kids are small, or down the road when they are gone and it’s just the two of us? How much chaos are we going to accept as normal and where do we draw the line?

These are all on my list of things that keep running around and around my mind. I already know the answer to these questions.

I know that our first priority is family. All seven of us. I want our kids to look back at their childhood with smiles and fond memories and to want to pass that on to their own kids. I want for them to know how important they are to us. I want to raise them in such a way that they make a difference in the world around them just by being.

I want for Jason and I to grow closer and closer now, so that when the kids are grown and gone we aren’t left looking at each going ” well now what?”  I don’t just want to survive these years, I want to thrive!

Now I come to the one question that is going to take me the longest to find an answer to. How much chaos are we willing to accept into our new normal? I do know that things definitely need to change from where they are now. I need to set some new systems in place to help calm some of the crazier areas of my day and loosen up on some others. I’m going to start with some simple (note that simple is the only word I could come up with, but that I’m not sure if these will be simple for me or not!) changes and then go from there. So here we go,

– Five AM is my new best friend. Five AM is my new best friend. Five AM is my new best friend. If I say it often enough will I eventually believe it? I hope so since I am going to be seeing her every morning from now on. She had better be nice to me is all I can say! Six was always my friend before, but I have come to realize a couple of things about six. She didn’t give me enough time with Jason before he left for work, or enough time of quiet before the kids woke up so five officially wooed me over to her side. I suppose I should have Jason start repeating the above mantra also. Poor guy!

– I do so solemnly swear to lay out everyone’s clothes the night before! Why is this one so hard for me to remember? I don’t even want to think about how many time I have said I was going to do this to make the mornings easier and I just can not for the life of me remember it. I will try again I suppose!

I WILL MAKE A MONTHLY AND WEEKLY MENU AND STICK WITH IT!!!!!! I did this once, and it worked great! So why didn’t I keep doing it you might ask? Well, let’s just say that I can be a bit dense at times and a slow learner. However I do know that this would make the last half of my day so much calmer so I will see this through! The hardest part is figuring out a whole months worth of meals, even if there are repeats on the list! Any tips on this one? What works for you? I am open to any and all suggestions!

– I saved the hardest for last. I have reached a point where I know that I need to learn to ask for help. I don’t like to think that I can’t do something on my own. I don’t like the thought of giving someone the opportunity to think I’m not good enough because I can’t manage on my own. I don’t like the thought of “bothering” someone by asking for help. However, this is my pride talking and it’s something that God has been working on in me and that Jason has been trying to help me with for a long time. Again, I’m a slow learner sometimes, but I do eventually learn! From here on I will try my hardest to ask for help, realizing that it doesn’t make me incapable or ‘not good enough’.

I know that I will learn and adjust because I want to have as much time as possible to enjoy the family that has been entrusted to me. I want to read and reread the ‘Bernstein Bears’ until I know them by heart, the same way I know ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ and ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ from my childhood. I want time to color with Gracie, build Lego houses with Gabe, learn chess with Tucker, help Beau discover the great outdoors and watch Liberty grow. I want to create date nights for my amazing love and me, that we can build our fairytale on. These are the memories that I want to have for me and my family. This is what I want our normal to look like.

What about your normal? Is there something that you do to make it extra special? Something you do to make it more sane? Let me know!

Love,

Bobbie

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16 thoughts on “Creating our new “normal”

  1. Beautiful Bobbie! I love everything about what you wrote. I have some yummy, EASY recipes I will email you. I only make EASY stuff!

  2. Congrats, congrats, congrats on your beautiful little new addition! I love your thoughtful list of to-do’s for your life. You will surely master all of them, my fave is creating a childhood that your children will think of fondly and strive to re-create one day with their own families. What a perfect goal!

  3. This post brightened my day!! I had no idea you were expecting. Thank you for letting me enjoy in the excitement a new baby always brings. The chaos is half of the blessing. Enjoy it because yes, one day, you will miss it. Kisses and hugs to that beautiful Liberty. And go get some sleep, Momma!

    • PS — It’s hard to ask for help. It’s easy to do it all yourself. But what you get from having your kids “put in” is not only the work done from a different perspective (they might indeed find a better way…be okay with that too) but also a child who feels needed and respected enough to be asked in the first place. Especially the little ones, the ones you think aren’t big enough to do a task. Just watch as your kids amaze you at what they can do for you!

  4. I love all these picture of your beautiful kids and beautiful baby!! We had four kids and never did quite escape the chaos when they were little. I was a somewhat unorganized homeschool mom, and life was always noisy in those younger years. Now my oldest is 25 and my youngest is almost 17 so the house is quiet. Too quiet! If only we could switch back and forth between old years and young years!

    • I’m an unorganized homeschooler also, its always something I vow to get better at….maybe one of these days! 🙂 My mom homeschooled us and now she doesn’t know what to do with the silence during the day, I try to remind myself of this when I’m wishing for quiet time. They grow so fast and are such a blessing. My days would be very dull without them around! Thank you! 🙂

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