I remember my first love. He was a neighbor farm kid that lived down the road. Matt was my age and while we weren’t in school yet our siblings were, so we got to play together. When Kindergarten rolled around I told my mom that I was marrying Matt and that we were going to have six kids and maybe a baby. I just wasn’t too sure about the baby thing! Well my love lasted through kindergarten but when first grade rolled around and we weren’t in the same school anymore I moved on.
All through elementary school there was always this boy or that one that I would think was just so cute, and a few of them I felt were worth arguing with my friends over, about who actually had a crush on him first.( So that of course when he showed an interest in someone we would know for sure who had the right to claim him.) I’m cringing! I don’t remember any boy ever showing an interest in any of us but we just knew that at any moment…… Oofda!
When middle school rolled around we started to home school so I’m sure my parents were hoping that this boy thing would be over for a while. Ummmmm ya, not really. See my Grandparents owned a guest ranch up by Yellowstone and that is where I spent my summers. Guest ranch = horses and dudes. Horses and dudes = wranglers!!! Yes wranglers who were a lot older than me and that never gave me a second thought,( thankfully!!!!!) but guys that I could think all summer long about how cute they were. I’m so embarrassed!
Fast forward to highschool and it just got worse. I was now a lot closer to the same age as these guys and the same age as the other girl help at the ranch. You know what happens when you get a bunch of teenage girls together and they start talking about boys don’t you? The conversation never stops! The giggle fest never stops. The driving crazy of my parents never stops. And its made worse now because I know more than my parents do since I’m a teenager and they “just don’t remember what its like!” Wawa poor me!
Every summer I would pick out ” the one” and every summer I would think my parents were just so mean for not agreeing with me on the choice. It’s not that they didn’t like the guys. They always told me that yes they were nice, but they were not good enough for their daughter.( Thank you now Dad and Mom!!) My Aunt told me once that I was one of the most boy crazy girls she had ever met. Again I’m cringing! I wish I hadn’t felt the need to have a crush on someone all the time. I wish now that I had listened to my parents then when they told me that soon enough I could deal with all that. I wish I had chosen to occupy my time with something more worthy. I didn’t though and now I only pray that my daughters can learn these lessons from my mistakes and not have to repeat them.
Now there is an upside to this story. The summer I was 18, we had a wrangler that had to be the cutest guy God ever put on the face of the earth. And on top of that he was nice, and sweet, and had morals. And on top of that, my parents liked him! I still spent the summer and the fall and the winter frustrating them, but in the end I married that wrangler. If you had asked me how I felt on the day I married him I would have told you how in love I was. I would have sighed and gone on about it. If you had asked me if it was possible to love him any more than I did right then I would have said no. I would have been wrong.
There is no one who understands me to the point that he does. I mean sometimes he gets me before I do! There is no one who would put up with my crazy mind and changeable moods the way he does. He loves me regardless of all the crazy things I do that make me who I am. I can be a scatter brain, I cry a lot , I laugh loudly, I even pout sometimes, but through it all he still hasn’t locked me away somewhere!
I have been through much with this man, and every year on our anniversary, I find that I have learned to love him even more. Each of our soon to be five children has reshaped our love and made it stronger. Every new job and new home has had challenges that we have faced together and came out the other side, still holding hands and stronger. Its been nine years now and if you were to ask me how I feel about the man I married I would tell you that the love I had on the day we got married is barely a shadow of the love that I have for him now. And if you ask me again in another 9 years I will probably say the same thing about this love I feel now.
There is one thing that I can promise though, without a doubt in my mind. I will still be holding this mans hand, smiling, and thinking how I married the cutest guy God ever put on the face of the earth! (And Dad and Mom approve!)